Am i gay or are men just gross
Liberating Motherhood
This is an updated version of one of my most popular posts. I hope you love the recent version!
I’ve had a lot of shocking experiences in my work as a feminist writer. I’ve argued before that violence against women is effectively legal, that romantic relationships are the unattached biggest public health threat women meet, and that in this hyper-violent patriarchal culture, it’s simply rational for women to fear all men.
I’d favor to think nothing men do can surprise me.
Still, I never idea I’d hear the phrase “poop flakes” in the identical sentence with “69.” I certainly never thought poop flakes would become a recurring topic of conversation with readers.
Activism takes us to funny places. To shitty places, too.
In the private support collective I run, a woman recently joint the story of her husband going about a month without showering, but still expecting her to have sex with him. And that opened the floodgates of male disgustingness.
“My ex didn’t shower and never washed his ass. He insisted on sleeping in the nude and his sheets always had stains on them.
One time he wanted to 69 and there were literal poo flakes neighboring his balls,” one reader told
I’ve identified as gay for years. Not anymore.
Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” is a bop — it topped charts in 25 countries and became one of the best-selling singles of all time. It’s also a monumental LGBTQ anthem in which Gaga embraces her bisexuality and affirms other LGBTQ identities, singing “I’m beautiful in my way / ‘Cause God makes no mistakes / I’m on the right track, baby I was born this way.”
“Born This Way” also came out around the similar time I did, at least to myself. I had a crush on Christian, a charming lad in my grade with mischievous eyes and a perpetual smirk. Then it was Jackson, the nerd-jock crossover of my wildest dreams. Then it was Joseph, a boy in my choir class who kissed me a rare weeks before eighth grade ended.
Those boys made me realize that I was queer. It was not something I thought much about before middle college. Bullies teased me for being gay when I was younger, but when a six-year-old boy calls another six-year-old boy queer , he means “weird” or “gross,” not “has sex with men.” Sure, it wasn’t a very kind thing for that young man to say, but it didn’t make me interrogate my sexuality or consider about my romantic and sexual attractions, because amorous and
I am a lesbian in love with a guy... is that possible ?
Hi Krista, and thanks for your question.
Love is without borders! It transcends genders if we allow it to. If you perceive such tremendous love for this guy, there is nothing wrong with that. There are all types of love between all types of people. I know some girls who identify as lesbians but on occasion, do nap with or date men. They choose to point to to themselves as queer woman and not bisexual because they ‘prefer’ women, but sometimes we can’t pick who we fall in love with. If it turns out to be a man, so be it!
Ask yourself what are the qualities you explore in a person in terms of building a romantic or intimate partnership. Can these questions be answered with ‘man’ or ‘woman’? If so, what about a woman or a man makes you want or not long for to be with them? Are these qualities that make you sexually attracted to the person? Sexual attraction is a whole other issue. You can love someone with all your heart, but if you can’t find a physical attraction to them, it won’t work in the long run. If you feel you would be able to nap with this guy and find him attractive, I
Why does male sexuality seem so repulsive to me? Am I just too feminist?
(Anonymous’ question continued) Especially, when I consider anal sex (Sexual activity involving the anus. Anal sex may incorporate stimulation with fingers, the mouth, a penis, sex toys, or other objects or body parts.) because, well, why would they wish to do that, other than amplify their own pleasure. The problem is, I actually adore anal, I just… these days, I hate the plan of letting anyone have it.
So, basically I’m being ridiculously immature about men. I’m being sexist myself, perhaps. But honestly, in your notion, are men capable of having sexual (About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) feelings driven by love, can men be kind, can I confidence men, why are so many men violent to women (is it just natural? I mean… should we just accept that deed as a male trait?), how execute I stop feeling sick about men being pleasured, will this go away when I discover someone I actually love, etc etc etc.
Oh, and this all coincides with a strange crush on one of my best girl friends; it’s like I’m forcing myself to be lesbian (Describes the sexual orientation of a chick who is sexual Recentlyafriend expressed how much it bothers her when lgbtq+ men go on about "how gross vaginas are." She feels it's a betrayal of the unspoken alliance between gay men and straight ladies. I thought about how it bothers me too, but for different reasons. It bothers me because this hypothetical grossed-out gay isn't actually grossed out. He's behaving as he is expected to behave in that particular social circle. He squeals and says, "Gurrrrrl," and everyone laughs. Oh, the gays are so funny! They despise vaginas! After some discussion about where such a reaction stems from, my companion and I came up with a (probably questionable) theory. Many of us gay men were quite mistreated during our formative years, so we learned social tricks to receive peers to like us or, at the very least, not slam us into the lockers. If we were sexless and funny, it was less threatening to the bullies. Our gayness wasn't so much about loving penises; it was about entity revolted by vaginas. I grasp I may be overthinking this issue, but it led me to mirror on the unfortunate things we gay men execute to guard ourselves. As a young man I buried myself deep in fundamentalist Christianity; that was my prote