Am gay but want to marry a woman
"I want to wed in Cabo Verde": Reflections on homosexual conjugality in contexts
Articles • Vibrant, Virtual Braz. Anthr. 12 (01) • June 2015 • https://doi.org/10.1590/1809-43412015v12n1p037linkcopy
AuthorshipSCIMAGO INSTITUTIONS RANKINGS
Abstracts
This article explores the universe of affective relations in Cabo Verde, especially those aspects comparable to conjugality and sexuality. Our interest begins with the demands for lgbtq+ marriage made by a gay Cabo Verdean association and the ethnographic facts on the gay marriage issue when it was debated by homosexual militants in Mindelo (São Vicente Island). These facts will be analyzed in the context of conjugal arrangements and heterosexual sexuality in the country. We disagree that analyzing the debate on gay marriage and broadening the discussion to understand how affective relationships are lived between men and women in the archipelago, it is necessary to reflect not only on the dynamics of local affections, but especially how the circulation of discourses and values within global social movements impinges on the situation in Cabo Verde.
Cabo Verde; homosexuality; conjugality; globalization; anthropology
Este art
MARYKENNY
A friend of mine, who is a gay gentleman, was explaining to me that he was once engaged to be married to a lady. “She was lovely,” he said. “I was mad about her.”
One way or another the proposed engagement didn’t materialise. The lady was the loser. He is a terrific guy, and any woman would be privileged to own him as her companion in life.
Indeed, I can hardly count the number of middle-aged, and older, women I hold heard remarking that they would love to unite a gay man. It is a frequent topic of conversation, sometimes, perhaps tending towards benevolent generalisations. “Gay men are so kind, so thoughtful, so sensitive, such wonderful friends, such fun to be with..” That’s something I’ve heard many a second from ladies of a certain age on the lookout for a second (or perhaps subsequent) husband.
It is well established that when a divorce occurs, heterosexual men remarry at a speedier rate than their former wives. And they often proceed down the age scale. Some studies have claimed that a man’s second wife is, on average, seven years younger than his first. (And presumably the third and fou
I recently spoke with Bonnie Kaye, writer of Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women with Gay Husbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wives Talk Show on BlogTalkRadio. Bonnie has spent much of her adult existence first living with and attempting to love a male lover husband and then helping other women in the alike mis-marriage situation. (“Mis-marriage” is Bonnie’s phrase for “mistake in marriage.” Other people sometimes refer to these relationships using the term “mixed marriage.”)
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Because I know countless same-sex attracted men who were once married to straight women, with varying degrees of short and longer-term happiness and misery, I wanted to discuss this topic, and I wanted to do so from the linear wives’ perspective. Who better to talk with about this than Bonnie Kaye? Our discussion was wide-ranging, beginning with her own marriage to a lgbtq+ man and ongoing to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually becoming a rock for other women in similar situations.
In this display , I have presented part one of this discussion, the story of Bonnie’s marriage and breakup. I will upload part two, the aftermath, in a few weeks.
Bonnie, My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could possess been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work. Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s assessments about monogamy. Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They inform they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wives accept this. People seem to get up in arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our culture, we identify ourselves via a sexual-attraction binary: gay or straight. This is severely limiting Firstly: Homosexuality is a severe illness and a morbid calamity. If it is accompanied by actually committing immoral actions, then it is even worse, because of the sin and abhorrent nature of those immoral actions and their bad consequences in this society and in the Hereafter. Hence you should focus on how to treat this perversion and store yourself from this destructive evil, more than focusing on whether to conceal it from your fiancée or uncover it to her. You should realize that there are causes for this calamity, and these causes may be due to what the person affected has done. The one who wants to save himself from this situation should examine these causes and rid himself of them, and do what we advise, otherwise he is approving of and accepting his condition and he does not desire to change for the better. Among the causes which may be due to his hold actions are the following: 1. Weakness of faith and remoteness of the heart from love of Allah, and a lack of fear of His punishment. 2. Looking freely at beardless youths, and enjoying their beauty and form. This is the first step towards sin for those who are affectHe is homosexual and is afraid to get married